Teacher: Please introduce yourself to the class.
Me: *Lana Del Rey’s ‘Ride’ intro begins playing*
internet relationships are bad and teens need to be told the facts. you may think you know someone online, but essentially what youre going on is a very extensively researched blind date. ive heard too many stories of people flying down to meet their long distance significant other of several years only to find out within four hours that they had been dating a lizard person in a human flesh suit, and were subsequently taken aboard the mothership and never heard from again.
was it really necessary for me to be born
Possibly not, but Double Chocolate Chip Cookies aren’t necessary either but I wouldn’t want to live in a world without them!
that is the most uplifting thing i’ve read all day
"Distorted realities have always been my cup of tea."
"So remember: 12:01 a.m., May 26. The schedule after that will be approximately as follows: the first animated GIFs from the first episode will appear at 12:01 and a half, people will complain that Netflix is down at 12:02, spoilers will begin appearing on Twitter at 12:03, angry tweets about spoilers at 12:04, think pieces about how this distribution model affects spoilers at 12:05, think pieces about how this distribution model might result in the return of Firefly at 12:06, listicles of 10 more shows that Netflix should revive at 12:07, complaints that these episodes “suck” at 12:08, complaints about haters at 12:09, questions about why people who are so into Arrested Development refuse to watch Community at 12:10, and 25 pictures of cats watching Arrested Development at 12:11."